For many people,
Feelings of grief can intensify during the holiday season, not only due to your loss but also due to your loss(es), but also due to the pressure of social expectations, traditions and other social norms that place a high value on the sanctity of family & togetherness that may be neither realistic nor desirable for an estranged or ostracized family member.
So this article is for those who
- have lost a beloved pet this year
- who are dreading questions from friends & family
- dreading spending time with memories
- may be alone over the holidays
- Just want to punch those ‘holly-jolly’ people it the head
(don’t do it. See step #3 to find a better outlet for holiday anger)
Grief in the Holidays
10. Light a Candle on Xmas day
- Let it burn all day or until it goes out.
9. Buy a toy for a pet in need
- “Retail Therapy” doesn’y last that long, and your gifts soon lose their luster. However, when we give to those in need, our feelings of gratitude last much longer.
8. Hang an ornament that reminds you of your loss
- Many people have special Christmas ornaments that they have made over the years but they feel too sad to put them up; they don’t want to be reminded of their loss.
- Putting up their memories will be painful at first. But remembering, talking, and honoring them will get easier with future xmas’es. We can remind yourself any ways. Smile through the tears, tell stories, remember them, and invite those memories back into your present life.
(if you don’t have a special ornament, buy or make one in step 7)
7. Holiday Oragami – HoIagami?
- We’re still working on that title, but you get the idea. Take a peace of paper, write your note or memory a 1 Side then fold it, put a hook in it, and place it on the tree.
[visit this page for a special Oragami ones tradition]
6. Make a plate of your pet’s favourite foods as an offering to them in Heaven
- This is an Asian mourning custom. Afterwards, the food can be burned, or buried, or you can give it to another pet in need.
It is believed that if you took a bite of any of the foods that are on the altar after Day of the Dead, the food has no flavor because the spirit has already eaten it.
Maria De Jesus Monterrubio.
(on a side note, we can use this in a funny blog post about how/why your favorite foods lose their flavor during Morning. Your pet is already eating them for you!)
5. For those with other pets:
- Buy toys or treats for your other pets & label them
“From …………” from the one you lost.
- You can do this all for pets in need.
- This can be a great way to stay connected to your loss.
4. Hang up a stocking for your pet.
- If you already have one, great! Bring it out, hang it up. If you don’t, consider buying or making one of your own. Wow, write a note to your pet & Put it in the stocking. In this note, say whatever is on your heart & mind. Let it out; really take your time with it.
- Because you’re going to save these stocking & notes and bring them out again, year after year, to write new notes & read its old notes. That way you can always bring your pets memories to presence with you every holiday going forward!
3. Send a message to the heavens
- Even year on Christmas Eve Eve (12/23), we collect all of the messages we’ve received, and put them on a special Christmas tree.
- Then we burn that tree & all the messages to release them to the heavens.
- When you write your message, write down everything you want to say, all your regrets, guilt, anger, and sadness on your note, fold it up tight(it’s for your & their eyes only). then when you ready & it’s safe to do so, burn the note. We torch a tree and many notes but if you haven’t sent it in to us or you don’t have A tree to do that, just burn the paper to “let go” & release your negative feelings.
2. Write & Send your favorite holiday memory into our Pet Memory Project:
- PetCloud’s Pet Memory Project is a collective of memories that are permanently stored online. On a postcard, or letter, write your favorite holiday memory & send it in. Will scan it(and your pictures) and post them on life for everyone to see. For you to share or your family & friends.
1.Join us for our special Christmas day webinar
- If you’ve lost a pet this year, tune into our special holiday chatroom on Christmas day to tell & talk about Your loss. This is the same video chatroom that we run every Sunday evening.
2-3 PM PST
5-6 PM EST
[create special popup on main page to announce 7 my chatroom.]
Enjoy & let us know your thoughts & feelings below.