A bond that dates back centuries.
Many people have told us that losing their pet hurt worse than losing a family member. To us, this statement makes perfect sense. We grow so close to our pets over the course of all the time we spent together. We learn how to commu- nicate with them without words, they know our routines, they’re always waiting for us when we come home. They see us during all states of our lives, good and bad, without judgement or criticism. They love us unconditionally.
This is an intimacy and love that we don’t have with any other person. Even spouses and children. Our pets are like kids that never grow up. They are 100% dependent on us their entire lives.
One of the things we are grieving is this loss of our familiar pattern. Of having that dog or cat bundled up with energy, expectation, and longing waiting just on the other side of our front door. It’s so empty without them in our lives. This is one of the hardest parts of pet loss.
It’s so special that our pets are the ones who are ALWAYS there for us, through the most difficult times of our lives. And, although that bond has changed, it will never really leave us. They will always be a part of us.
Just as we thrive being loved by our pet(s), they thrive, too, Oxytocin, the love hormone, is exchanged. The more hugging and holding, the more presence and exchange of the hormone. The smiles, hugs, games, toys, walks form a Love Bubble-that grows.
I think the gaping hole in my soul is from the pain of the slow- growing realities of all I’ve lost. Aside from the obvious losses of being gone, the empty house trauma, the loss of his friends and owners in our walks, the friendly greeting constantly, and the peace in seeing how happy my pet is, I am also experiencing and expecting future losses of missing him in holidays, seeing zillions of ads about dogs, and there feels like there is no end to these losses. He will not be there on my birthday!
An unexpected loss is knowing he is doing well in the next world, or alive, or happy. I have no control of the next world. Big Trauma. I was the one who kept him safe. Is he safe?