Taking Care Of Ourselves

Taking Care Of Ourselves

Grief is hard on our bodies.

Grief is hard work. It’s hard on our bodies; it robs us of ability to eat and sleep, it disrupts our normal routines, and it destroys our peace of mind. Even when we do sleep, when we wake in the morning, we remember all over again. Chronic fatigue and exhaustion are common and natural experiences for those in heavy grief.

When combined, all of these sap our ability to heal and recover, which further compounds our grief and makes us more miserable because we start to physically feel miserable.

It’s so important to take care of ourselves when we’re grieving, yet it is often one of the first things that we neglect. We don’t feel like it, we don’t have the energy. It’s unfair. Life’s unfair. Why bother?

Losing a loved one is like being hit by a bus. It immobilizes us. The shock waves are immense, and roll over us again and again, relentless and debilitating. Some days, we can barely lift our heads. We have a limited supply of energy each day, and right now our grief is consuming a lot of it.

Let that be okay. Let’s remember to be kind to ourselves right now. We won’t be functioning at 100% at work, at school, or in our daily lives. Once we acknowledge that, it becomes easier to allow ourselves the time and space to heal without feeling rushed or pressured.


Allow your grief to surface. Let your tears flow. Crying and grieving is how we express profound sorrow and loss. Our tears are healing. They are therapeutic. Breaking down at random times is normal and part of the grieving process.

It seems to ambush you when you least expect it. Try not to fight it; let your tears come. If you are self-conscious or in an inappropriate place for tears, make time for a private “grief-break” in the bathroom, in a car, or by taking a walk.


Grief certainly takes the flavor out of food, that’s true. But, if we don’t eat, we don’t recover. Crying dehydrates us, and if we don’t drink enough water to replenish us, we feel worse. In the beginning of grief, we may have to force ourselves to eat and drink, but let that be okay.


The ability to sleep is one of those things that seems to go away after a loss. If you’re having trouble, try taking a bath before bed, or getting into a new bedtime routine that you follow (whether you fall asleep or not). If your pet shared your bed, try getting a stuffed animal or pillow to fill the empty space where they used to sleep.

Physical Activity

Find something small each day that gets your body moving; even a little bit helps. This doesn’t have to be hard or strenuous exercise, just enough to get you outside. For instance, take a walk, stretch, or do some light yoga.

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